Confusion.

Don't know whats going on. Don't know if its true or if it's all a lie. Don't know weather to stay or go. Don't know weather it's good or bad. I just don't know anymore. Why is it all so confusing. I wish everything in life was easy. I wish there were no hard choices.

I walked into school today expecting the worse. I thought I would cry the whole day. I did not know that I woul be fine. That we would be..

But the part im still off balance with is. Do I even want everything to be fine? Do I want to go back to this? Do I want to be friends or more with the one thing that stomps on my heart the most?

Wish I did not have feelings, wish my heart would just let go, but then again I want nothing more that to just be with this person. I hate him yet love him with ALL OF MY HEART.

I know I am young and shoul not say all this, and this should not be such a big deal. But. LOVE is messed up and so confusing I wish I could not feel it.

Nothing is the same..

Just because someone tells you somehing, does that mean your supposed to believe them? What if believing them made you lose the best thing that's ever been yours? Would you still believe them?

Well I did, and I don't know if it was the best choice. This kid has been so close to me for so long, and in one day we went from being that close, to barely even friends. I did not want that.

 It hurts so bad. I don't think anyone understands what this kid means to me, and I just gave him up. Maybe it was for the best though. Who knows? All I know is nothing about me is the same anymore.

If I die young...

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

Uh oh, uh oh

Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother
She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and
Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time

And I'll be wearing white, when I come into your kingdom
I'm as green as the ring on my little, cold finger, I've
Never known the lovin' of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand, there's a
Boy here in town says he'll, love my forever
Who would have thought forever could be severed by
The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time

So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls
What I never did is done

A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell them for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when your dead how people start listenin'

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

Uh oh (uh, oh)
The ballad of a dove (uh, oh)
Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket
Save them for a time when your really gonna need them, oh

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time

So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls..


This song kinda makes me think.. anything can happen at any moment.. I love this song.. ♥

I like this song because of what it stands for, what it means, and who I listened to it with. I think this would be the best song to play at a childs funeral. I feel like it is one of my favorite songs.

Then and Now.

These pictures are a big part of my past. I can see how much I have grown scince I moved. I used to be so weird looking, and now I love how I have changed. I have had just about every hair color there is and it is kinda funny.. I love this post. It shows how I have changed over the years.

Never gunna leave this bed < 3

Never Gonna Leave This Bed
Maroon 5

You push me
I don't have the strength to
Resist or control you
Take me down
Take me down
You hurt me
But do I deserve this?
You make me so nervous
Calm me down
Calm me down
[Chorus]
Wake you up
In the middle of the night to say
I will never walk away again
I'm never gonna leave this bed
So come here
And never leave this place
Perfection of your face
Slows me down
Slows me down
So fall down
I need you to trust me
Go easy, don't rush me
Help me out
Why don't you help me out ?
[Chorus]
Wake you up
In the middle of the night to say
I will never walk away again
I'm never gonna leave this bed
You say "Go, it isn't workin' "
And i say "No, it is perfect"
So I stay and stand
I'm never gonna leave this bed
Take it
Take it all
Take all that i have
I'll give it all away just to get you back
Fake it
Fake it all
Take what i can get
Knockin' so loud
Can't you hear me yell ?
I try to stay away, but you can't forget
Wake you up
In the middle of the night to say
I will never walk away again
I'm never gonna leave this bed
You say "Go, it isn't workin' "
And i say "No, it is perfect"
So I stay and stand
I'm never gonna leave this bed
Take it
Take it all
Take all that i have
Take it
Take it all
Take all that i have
http://youtu.be/SVw0q0dkq_M

I love this song and it fits my relationhip with blue so much, one of us messes up and instead of just walking away forever we both agree we aren't leaving. No matter how much he hurts me or I hurt him we always come back to each other and that is not going to change any time soon. I am never going to leave his bed <3

Rain.

Rain rain go away come back another day.. PLEASE.. It should not be raining out side it should be snowing. there is two weeks untill christmas and there is no snow WTF is that? I am just saying I hate snow and all but rain? It's wet, cold, and makes fog, kinda like the fog I see out the window right now. NO GOOD. I wish it would just be nice out. I can't wait until summer. Floating, fun, I can't wait. :)

http://youtu.be/ubBdvwqimDw

This song is so true and I love it.

Good ole times, Family, Friends. ♥

This is me and Kennedy, The last day I was at Anamosa High School, I love it because we match..

These are pictures of My brother, My dad and I.. Way back when ♥

Bestfriends:))

Me and Amber Jo:)

I absolutely LOVE THIS PICTURE:)

I'm a tree hugger:)

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BESTFRIENDS♥

My dad, MY brothers, and me playing football.♥

My little brother Danny.

My little sister Siara.

Me and my brother Tyler.

Me and Tyler again.. :)

Me and my Gramma. :)

My little brother Ethan♥

My little brother Bryce♥

My father and I. ♥♥

Me Madre:)

Me and my "sister" Denise Marie.. She has been there thropugh some really hard things and I love her.. :)♥

My little "brother" Griffin Hansen ! I love this kid, he is legitimately treated like he is my brother. I will always be there for this kid!! ♥

BOOBIE!!! I love her she makes me happy. :) ♥

These are my family and friends, the most important parts of my life. They are there for me no matter what I am going through. I love my family. They keep me strong when all I want to do is crumble. They are my rock. My friends are amazing, even though they are sometimes goofy, they are still some of the best people I have in my life.